


Those Three Girls

by fumiko6



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, F/F, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 08:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19147588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fumiko6/pseuds/fumiko6
Summary: "When you finally confess to her, she wouldn't know what to say."The trials and travails of being a background character in the Love Live universe...





	Those Three Girls

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on ff.net in 2016

When you finally confess to her, she wouldn't know what to say.  
   
"Um... you're the one who does the sound and stuff, right? What was your name again?", Honoka would say, touching the corner her lips with her index finger. Of course she knew your name, but she wouldn't know how else to stall for time. Not many of her admirers knew how awkward she could be. She would look at you, and she would blush, and shift her gaze towards her shoes, the walls, anything but your face. This would be the first confession she's ever received (and the first one you've ever given) and she wouldn't know what to do. Not that you would be any better.  
   
"My name is Fumiko, remember?", you would say, trying your hardest to not seem too nervous. Of course you would be shaking on the inside. "I've been watching you since the year started, and I think I've fallen in love with you. I've always admired your passion and your energy, but more than that I... I just enjoy being around you, and I need your presence and I can't live without you!" Few people knew how melodramatic you could be sometimes. Honoka would soon find out.  
   
You were supposedly a part of Muse, working mostly with Maki and Umi on the technical side, but the world the nine official members inhabited was a different one from yours. You and your two best friends Mika and Hideko worked in the background, sharing all the labor but none of the glory. That was fine for you and your friends, because you weren't the type to be idols. None of you cared about credit or screaming fans; the pleasure of helping Muse out was enough.  
   
You loved being around the members of Muse, but you loved being around Honoka most of all; after all, she was the one who first brought you into the world of school idols. She was everything you were not. She was energetic and passionate, and had an aura that drew people towards her. She cared about her friends more than herself, and despite her lazy veneer she could work harder than anyone else. And also, she was pretty cute. You don't remember exactly when your feelings of admiration for Honoka had effortlessly slid into love, but you do remember when you were no longer content to sit on the sidelines.  
   
Mika and Hideko would tell you to confess. What's the worst that could happen, they would say. It's fine if she says no, we'll always be here for you. You would agonize for weeks before they would finally push you in front of her. When you finished confessing and she told you to wait a few days, your friends would be there to support you, to tell you that everything would be fine and you were a beautiful person no matter what she would say. You would be happy to have them.  
   
When she finally says yes, you would be overjoyed. Hideko, always the realistic one, would tell you that she only said that she wanted to try going out for a while. The two of you weren't "officially" girlfriends yet. Still, it might be one of the happiest days of your life. At least you would be given a chance. You would make that airhead fall in love with you.  
   
Your first date would be at a cute little cafe not too far from the school. She would never have been there, so you would order for the both of you. Of course she would spill the beans to her friends, so all eight of them would be there, wearing face masks and sunglasses like a bunch of stalkers. You would pretend to not notice them, but you would sometimes hear their whispering. It would be a little distracting. Your own friends were a bit more discreet. They would be content to just wait nearby.  
   
The two of you would talk about yourselves. It would be worrying how little you knew about each other, but this would be an opportunity to rectify that. You would tell her about how you met Mika and Hideko in elementary school, and how you were always interested in music and got them interested too. You were a total nerd when it came to music, so Honoka would tell you to slow down, and you would both laugh. She in turn would tell you about her family and her childhood friends and Muse, and she would gossip about the Muse members, as the whispers from the crowd nearby would grow more indignant.  
   
The first date went well, you would tell your friends after it was all over. You would be giddy the whole night and into the next day, unable to stop smiling whenever you thought of her. Your friends would tease you about it, of course, and you would laugh when they say they're afraid you wouldn't need them any more. Honoka would see you in the halls, and the two of you would smile and hold hands. Umi would clutch at her chest and look away, and Kotori would awkwardly wave at you. You would wave at them too.  
   
Over time you would go on more dates, and become closer to each other than ever before. The other eight members of Muse would gradually accept your relationship, as it would become clear that you were helping Honoka with staying on task. Your friends would look upon you with admiration and some jealousy. The two of you would be positive forces for each other. She would be the wind pushing you forward, and you would be the shelter amidst her storm. At some point you would start to call her your girlfriend, and she would call you the same.  
   
One day would come when the two of you are alone at your house. You would be the one to initiate. You would kiss her, first gently and then more deeply as she draws you closer. How do two girls do it, she would ask. You would laugh because you knew how two girls did it. Research was one thing you were good at, and you were ashamed that you've conducted great deal of research. Still, in the heat of the moment, all that would fade away, and the two of you would do whatever came naturally. Afterwards, not much would change. Everyone always said that this would be a major milestone, but to you it just seemed so natural.  
   
After Muse disbands and the third years graduate, she would come to rely on you more and more. She would miss the excitement of being a school idol, and she would miss her friends. You would be there for her whenever she felt purposeless or lonely. You would join her in coaching her sister and the next generation of school idols, and you would reprise your role as support, along with Mika and Hideko. While they would never be Muse, they would do quite well for themselves, with the help of everyone who came before them. You would stand with Honoka as she beamed in pride at her sister. Her sister Yukiho would accept you as part of her life. Even her parents (and yours) would bless the relationship between you two.  
   
When the time came for you to graduate, there would be no tearful goodbyes between you and her. The two of you would attend the same university, even though you had been admitted to a better one far away. She would worry that she was dragging you down, but you would have none of that. Being with the one you love is the most important thing of all, you would say. Besides, this university had the program you most wanted. You would study audio engineering, and she would study business. After graduating, the two of you would plan to start your own music production company to bring to reality the dreams of aspiring idols everywhere. Your old friends and some of the old Muse members would join you and Honoka.  
   
The company would be a great success, but you would want something more. You wanted to start a family with Honoka. Of course two women couldn't have children by themselves yet, but there was always adoption, or sperm donors. The laws would change to make all of that legal. You and her would have two children; you would carry one child, and Honoka would carry the other child. Taking care of children would be difficult, of course, but also rewarding. She would be the energetic mom who took the kids everywhere, while you would be the quiet, collected mom who would be there for the kids when they were down. Both of you would share your loves for music with them, but if they wanted to do something else, that would be fine too. What would be important is to let them become the best people they could ever be.  
   
The two of you would already have been married by then, of course. Your marriage would be a joyous occasion. You would invite Mika and Hideko, and she would invite all the members of Muse, not to mention your families. You would laugh, and you would cry. It would be the happiest day of your life so far, and the symbol of more happy days yet to come. So why would you cry so much, when there was so much happiness ahead of you? You would break down in tears, and everyone would rush towards you with worried expressions on their faces. But why?  
 

* * *

  
   
"It's okay, it's okay. Whatever happened, it's okay."  
   
The feeling of Mika's fingers through your hair brings you back to reality. She had undid your ponytail, and is now gently massaging your scalp as you lie in her lap.  
   
You and your two best friends had grown apart after graduation. No, it had started earlier, in your final year. It was all too easy: one unanswered message, a call not returned, pretending to be too busy. They were both married now, you think. They have their own families, their own lives, lives that you were shut out of. Lives that you watched pass by, never interrupting. It was a miracle that you met Mika at the store. After you saw her, all the emotional dams that you've been holding up for ten years broke free. You collapsed in tears, and she carried you back to your apartment. She still cares about you, and you were happy for that.  
   
You think back to Honoka. Where is she now? You have heard conflicting rumors. She is engaged to a man. She is in a relationship with Umi or Kotori or both, or maybe Tsubasa from A-Rise, or all of them at the same time. She is living with Maki in America. She is a director at a major corporation. Wherever she is, it isn't with you. She lives in a different world from you. She always has. She was an idol, and you were support. She drew people towards her, and you pushed them away. She achieved her dreams, and you're living alone in a six-tatami apartment in a run-down building in the cheapest district of Tokyo. Why the hell would she ever have wanted to be with you? Why the hell would she ever have noticed you? It was ridiculous that you even imagined living your whole lives together.  
   
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?", Mika asks you.  
   
You shrug. It's as if you've forgotten how to have a conversation. "Um, it's complicated."  
   
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" she asks again. She no longer has her old girlish pigtails, instead letting her hair grow to her shoulder. She's grown up. She's left you behind.  
   
"I don't know what to talk about," you manage to say. You were always bad at talking to people, but when did you become this terrible?  
   
"Then, excuse me, but I have to go now," Mika says. She moves you off her lap and onto your futon. "I left my contact info on the table. If you want to talk or need anything, just call me." Stepping over piles of junk, she carries her groceries and reaches the door.  
   
"Why? Stay with me," you say. "I really care about you. I love you." What did you mean by that? You don't even know. You haven't known what you were doing for a while.  
   
She only smiles at you wistfully. "Sorry, but my kids are waiting." With a wave, she leaves.  
   
You're left alone. You should be used to it by now, but it hurts every time. Being with someone you care about just makes the moments when you're alone all the more painful. Should you call Mika, you wonder. How can you talk to her when you can't even face yourself? What would you even talk about? Your stupid crush on some stupid girl from ten years ago that you never ever got over? How you completely screwed up your relationships with all your friends? The way you abandoned your dreams to have a stable life, and then failed at having a stable life anyway?  
   
You wish that for once, you could be the main character of your own story.


End file.
